


Fustrated

by LexLemon



Series: I’ll Build a World Around You [8]
Category: Once Upon A Time In Hollywood (2019)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Cliff Booth has a heart, Everyone needs to get on Cliff’s hype man level, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, I don’t know how to write westerns, I rated it T since it’s a heavy subject matter, I spelled the title like that on purpose, Little kids acting like little kids, Rick has an episode, Tracy had difficulties with her R’s when she was little, difficult conversations, undiagnosed bipolar disorder
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-13
Updated: 2020-09-13
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:47:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,706
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26432890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LexLemon/pseuds/LexLemon
Summary: Rick’s daughter learns about her dad’s bipolar episodes, a day her parents never wanted to come. It’s going to be hard for all of them, but they’ll get through it together.
Relationships: Cliff Booth/Rick Dalton
Series: I’ll Build a World Around You [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1852639
Comments: 4
Kudos: 11





	Fustrated

**Author's Note:**

> Just to reiterate from the tags, I am aware that the title is spelled wrong. I did that on purpose because I headcanon that Tracy had difficulties pronouncing the letter R when she was about 1-3. She grew out of it, of course, but it still shows up now and then, hence the title.

"'You got the money there, Scott?'" the voice on Rick Dalton's tape recorder asked, its Southern accent coming through despite the crackle of the microphone.

Rick was dressed in full cowboy regalia as he paced about his trailer, barely able to hear the crew members shouting to one another outside on the set of his latest western. His eyes glancing down at his feet, he recited back, "'Got it right here. All sixty pieces of it.'"

"'Nice work. The train's s'posed to come 'round 3. I think we can still make it.'"

"'Shoot, they ain't goin' to catch us by now. I lost 'em 'bout twenty miles back. Pretty soon, we're goin' to be hitchin' a ride to 'ol Mississippi and mak...m-m-makin'...'"

Rick pressed his head against the wall and leaned forward, rubbing his fingers over his temples with a sigh. He'd been struggling with that line all week. It was supposed to be "Pretty soon, we're goin' to be hitchin' a ride to 'ol Mississippi and makin' more moolah than we ever made before." There were just too many goddamn M's in it for him to handle. But they were filming the scene with it that day, so he had to get it right.

Rick took a deep breath once he heard the tape recorder still playing without him following it. He went over to the table it rested on and rewound it a couple seconds, bringing him back to where he started.

He said, "'Got it right here. All sixty pieces of it.'"

"'Nice work. The train's s'posed to come 'round 3. I think we can still make it.'"

"'Shoot, they ain't goin' to catch us by now. I lost 'em 'bout twenty miles back. Pretty soon, we're goin' to be hitchin' a ride to 'ol Mississ-ss-ss-"

Rick pounded his fist against the table and pressed his clammy hand to his forehead, his breathing starting to come out in small pants. He quickly pushed the "stop" button on the recorder and leaned against the wall to grit his teeth.

He was starting to feel the pressure bubble up from within. His insides were growing tight, and his head was pounding as hard as it could. It looked like there was going to be one more wrecked trailer he'd have to pay for after today.

A tiny voice broke him out of his funk for a moment, but it was only for a couple of seconds. It asked, "What's wrong, Daddy?"

Rick looked over to see his five-year-old daughter, Tracy, sitting on her legs at the back of the trailer. She was surrounded by pieces of paper scribbled with crayons, but her small pout and wide eyes were centered only on him.

"Why aren't you practicing? You were really good."

No, he wasn't. He was shit. And he was going to keep being shit if he didn't get his fucking lines right by the time they started filming. God, he was really going to blow, wasn't he?

But Tracy was there. Rick couldn't do it if she was there. He promised himself he wouldn't.

Unable to look at his daughter, Rick pointed at the trailer door. "Tracy..." he said in a pant, "Tracy, go sit outside with Pop for a few minutes."

"But I'm not done coloring."

"Tracy, _please_ go outside. I need you to do that for me."

Rick hated how tense his voice sounded, but he couldn't stop it from coming out. He didn't even want to see how scared Tracy probably looked right then. It would only make everything hurt more. Luckily, her wavering voice seemed to do the trick.

"O-Okay."

Tracy picked herself up and walked over to the door, pushing it open and hopping down the steps. Once it shut behind her, she looked to the side and found her other father, Cliff Booth, popping a cigarette in his mouth as he sat in a golf cart. A radio was placed on the seat beside him, blasting out a Doobie Brothers song into the afternoon.

“ _Oh, you_

_Tellin' me the things you're gonna do for me.”_

Cliff looked up when he heard the trailer door open but frowned when he found Tracy walking towards him and not Rick.

"Tracy?" he asked as he tucked his cigarette away. "Baby, what's wrong?"

Tracy pressed her arms to her chest and shook her head. "Daddy's scared."

"Wh-What do you mean he's scared? Come here."

Cliff turned the radio off and placed it behind him, giving Tracy room to sit. He lifted her onto the cart and placed her beside him, pulling her into his side.

Tracy said in a quiet voice, "He was practicing, a-and then, he wasn't. And he looked like he was scared."

A loud crash echoed from inside the trailer, making the two jump in their seats.

"Daddy!" Tracy said, trying to get up and run back inside.

Cliff was quick to pull her back in and wrap his arms around her, his hand rubbing her back. "No, no, no, no, no. He's okay. He's okay, Tracy. He's okay."

"B-B-B-But-"

"I..."

Cliff closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh. He was hoping this day wouldn't have to come. He and Rick thought they could hide it for as long as they could. But life was funny like that, he supposed. It made you grow up when you least expected it to. Pulling Tracy closer to him, Cliff hoped that what he said could drown out the noise from within.

"I know it seemed like Daddy was scared in there, but he isn't. He's just frustrated. Do you know what that means?"

Tracy shook her head, her cheek pressed into his chest.

"Frustrated is a different way of saying that something's bothering you. You feel it when what's bothering you is something that you did that...you can't really control. And that's what makes it so upsetting."

"Do you get fustrated?"

"Oh sure. Lots of times. But Daddy's frustrated is different than my frustrated. When Daddy's frustrated, he gets really mad and really sad. A lot more than most people do. It can be kind of scary, so he just...he just doesn't want you to be scared of him. He never, _ever_ wants you to be scared of him."

"But I'm not scared of Daddy," Tracy said in a quiet voice. "You said when, when Daddy's being mean, that he's just pretending. It's not really Daddy."

"And that's right. It isn't Daddy. But when he's frustrated..." Cliff shrugged with a cringe. "Well, that is him. And it isn't very nice."

The two were brought out of their conversation by the trailer door swinging open. The sound of sniffling traveled out of it as Rick stood in the doorway, rubbing at his cheeks.

"Cliff," he said in a strained voice, waving at his boyfriend.

Cliff stood up and sighed to himself. He knew what that call meant. The anger has subsided, but now came the tears.

Cliff kept Tracy close to him as they approached the trailer but stopped when Rick waved his hand.

"No, I don't want Tracy inside."

"Rick, I can't just leave her outside by herself," Cliff said through gritted teeth.

Rick threw his head back and sighed. "Fuckin'...alright. Just tell her to be careful."

Cliff then picked Tracy up and set her inside the trailer, saying, "Be careful in there, baby. It's a little messy."

"Okay."

Tracy wandered into the trailer and realized that her pop was right. Items that had been on the tables and shelves were now thrown on the floor, and there were lots of little pieces scattered around that looked sharp. Thankfully, her drawings were okay, so she sat beside them while Cliff went to sit with Rick on the couch. She couldn't help but listen to them talk as Rick sobbed into Cliff's shoulder.

"I hate these fuckin' lines."

"I know. They're rough."

"It don't help that I can barely fuckin' talk as it is-"

"Hey-"

"Now, they throw in all this shit for me to say that I can't even goddamn say without stumblin' over every goddamn fuckin' word!"

"Alright, I'm sure it wasn't that bad. You were doing better when you rehearsed at home yesterday."

"Yeah, but now I can't fuckin' do it. And I have to do it. I'm goin' to look so fuckin' stupid."

"No, you're not. Look, if you mess up, the script supervisor will help. That's what they're there for."

"But we'll have to do another take. They're goin' to think I'm some dumbass that didn't fuckin' practice. They won't take me seriously, Cliff."

"Yes, they will. You're thinking too hard about this. Everyone messes up, Rick."

"But I ain't s'posed to."

Tracy didn't like seeing her daddy cry. Daddies weren't supposed to cry. They were supposed to cheer you up when you were crying. After all, he always did that for her. Maybe it was time to give a little love back.

Tracy picked herself up and walked over to Rick, her little arms hugging his leg. "It's okay, Daddy," she said. "Don't be fustrated. There's always a way for things to be better."

Cliff found himself making a proud smile when he heard the advice he always gave to her repeated back. She really did take them to heart after all.

"Oh, Tracy," Rick said as he started crying harder, this time out of joy. He picked up Tracy and placed her on his lap, giving her a big kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, darlin'. You're right. There is a way for things to get better. I'm goin' to be just fine."

"Yeah, you are." Cliff wrapped his arms around his two loves and squeezed them tight, prompting Rick to lean in and kiss his cheek.

After taking a deep breath, Rick said, "Hey, Tracy. Can I see what you were colorin'?"

"Yeah!"

As Tracy picked herself up and ran over to grab her drawings, Rick couldn't help but smile to himself. All this time, he thought that exposing Tracy to one of his episodes would make her scared of him. Instead, it gave him another person that could reassure him that things would be alright in the end.

**Author's Note:**

> Songs referenced:
> 
> “Takin’ It to the Streets”-The Doobie Brothers: https://youtu.be/5o_umKOTXIs


End file.
